RELINK PLEASE! ♥

Put the blame on me , its all caused by myself .

Wednesday, March 4, 2009 7:30 PM

} SONG LYRICS
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you?
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
So no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding?
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy
But I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work, it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life (x3)

Today school is as usual, Started painting for lino ,
Maths, Stress, i seriously cannot make it! ):
I must buck up, really really work super hard already.
Mother tongue , handphone get confiscated for the 2periods . :{
Physics, carving my art while waiting for teacher to come.
1.30pm, accompanied bilian GF to have her lunch,
After that acc her home to change, den she accompanied me home,
I took a quick shower, Rushed down, den went 883 to buy bubble tea,
Headed to Woodlands stadium.
I just reached, then wanted to put on the number tag ,
I didn't know so fast my turn already,
Faster get myself ready, stretching ,
Den boom! Chiong ah, run run run, regret for not wearing my North star shoe,
I wore the everlast shoe, its lose & seems like it want to fly out.
I was the Forth, kinda sad cos i wanted top 3 ): ,
Forget it. I promise if i can go sec 5, i must run & join more event{!}
After heats , headed to causeway point with GF,
After that Mcdonalds , saw shaz & wanny (: .
After that headed home alone .
I was sad today, its rainy day & i saw sweet couples around.
However, still can't wait for 080309. First month single!!

; There's alot alot of reasons why i'm so sad right now .
I wish i can heck care every single thing, but, i just couldn't .
It had been 19 days , its really time to stop all actions .
I'm trying .. so hard, yet, i can't make myself to it .
So many things , I'm so upset , why?
Why i just can't like someone who would be a part of me? *Silly Laughs* ,
Perhaps , love is just nonsense .
I admit i use to get jealous of many many couples out there ,
Especially Chinese guy with Malay girl OR Malay guy with Chinese girl.
I wish, i wish for so many things,but nothing came true . )':
Peviously :
I love I so much, I said he had a crush on me too,
Yet , we never be together due to reasons .
L is a close friend of mine, we never met, just seen him once ,
One fine day we finally meet up, & he make me fall for him,
We stead after days, break after days .
Now, I fallen in love with Y,
We were text mates , we studied together & stuffs.
We joke, we argue, i liked Y so much,
Though , knowing that i made a big big mistake for loving him,
I didn't stop myself directly, feelings deepened .
Alway, always , i went to that friendster profile,
Always always, i told myself not to drop a little tear,
Always always , tears just couldn't stop flowing .
I never want my life to turn out this way too,
Neither will i feel good, Many peoples out there,
Pin pointing me, i know, if its someone around me in such situation, i will too.
But, see, If you were me, don't answer me straight that you will stop loving him,
YOU WON'T. Unless, you didn't really like the person itself.
I don't like people to pin point me, i wish i won't do things that make ppl pin point me,
But, what can i do now? i said , i will go, but, how to?
I'm not over Y .
Maybe , there's too much thing we spoken ,
So much of happy things we have been through,
We can laugh for no reasons .
I just don't know what else i can do right now.
Brain damaged .
Love simpy sucks to the core {!}
"I tried not to contact you , reply you text, you called me up,
What does it mean??"

LOVE STORY ; THE BREAK UP.

Boy: Baby, we need to talk.
Girl: Ricardo, what do u mean?
Boy: Something has come up...
Girl: What? What's wrong? Is it bad?
Boy: I don't want to hurt you, baby.
Girl: *Thinks* Oh my God, I hope he doesnt break up with me... I love him so much.
Boy: Baby, are you there??
Girl: Yeah, I'm here. What is so important??
Boy: I'm not sure if I should say it..
Girl: Well, you already brought it up, so please just tell me.
Boy: I'm leaving...
Girl: Baby, what are u talking about?? I don't want you to leave me, I love you.
Boy: Not like that, I mean I'm moving far away.
Girl: Why? All of your famliy lives over here.
Boy: Well, my father is sending me away to a boarding school far away.
Girl: I can't believe this.
[FATHER: (Picks up the other phone, interrupts & yells furiously
ERICA!, what did I tell you about talking to boys?!!!... Get off the
damn phone!! (And hangs up).]

Boy: Wow, your father sounds really mad.
Girl: You know how he gets, but anyways, I dont want you to go.
Boy: Would you run away with me?
Girl: Baby, you know I would, I would do anything for you, but I
can't... You don't know what would happen if I did. My dad would kill me!
Boy: *Sad* It's okay.. I understand, I guess..
Girl: *Thinking*I can't believe what's going on.
Boy: I need to give you something tonite, because I am leaving on
flight 1-80 in the morning, so I need to see you now.
Girl: Okay, I will sneak out & meet you at the park.
Boy: Okay, I'll meet you there in 20 minutes.
[They meet at a nearby park, they both hug eachother. And he gives
her a note.]
Boy: Here you go, this is for you. I gotta go.
Girl: *Tear* (Begins to cry.)
Boy: Baby, dont cry, you know I love you... But I have to go.
Girl: Okay (Begins to walk away.)
[They both go back home. And Erica begins to read the letter he gave her]
It says...
"Erica,

You probably already know that I'm leaving, I knew this would be better if I wrote a letter explaining the truth about how much I care about you. The truth is, is that I never loved you, I hated you so much, you are my bitch and dont you ever forget that. I never cared about you, and never wanted to talk to you, and be around you. You really have no clue how much I hate you. Now that I'm leaving I thought you should know that I hate you, bitch. You never did the right thing, and you were never there. I didnt think I could hate someone as much as I hate you. And I never want to see you, for the rest of my life, I will never miss kissing you like before, I never want to cuddle up, how we used to. I will not miss you and that's a promise. You never had my love, and I want you to remember that. Bitch, you keep this letter because this may be the last thing you have from me. Fuck, I hate you so much. I will not talk to you soon bitch... Goodbye.
- Ricardo"

[ Erica begins to cry, she throws the paper in tha garbage & crys for hours ]
... A day passes, she is sad, depressed and she feels so lonely... Then she gets a phone call....
Friend: How are you feeling?
Girl: I just cant believe this happened.. I thought he loved me.
Friend: Oh, about that. Ricardo left me a message. A few days ago. He told me to tell you to look in your jacket pocket or something...
Girl: Umm.. okay.
[She finds a piece of paper in the jacket,
It says:
"Baby I hope you find this before you read my letter. I knew your dad might read it, so I switched a few words...
Hate = Love
Never = Always
Bitch = Baby
Will not= will
.... I hope you didn't take that seriously because I love you with all my heart, and it was so hard to let you go thats why I wanted you to run away with me... -Ricardo"]

You probably already know that I'm leaving, I knew this would be better if I wrote a letter explaining the truth about how much I care about you. The truth is, is that I always loved you, I loved you so much, you are my baby and dont you ever forget that. I always cared about you, and always wanted to talk to you, and be around you. You really have no clue how much I love you. Now that I'm leaving I thought you should know that I love you, baby. You always did the right thing, and you were always there. I didnt think I could love someone as much as I love you. And I always want to see you, for the rest of my life, I will always miss kissing you like before, I always want to cuddle up, how we used to. I will miss you and that's a promise. You always had my love, and I want you to remember that. Baby, you keep this letter because this may be the last thing you have from me. Fuck, I love you so much. I will talk to you soon baby... Goodbye.

Girl: Oh my God! It's a letter.. Ricardo does love me!!, he must of slipped it into my pocket when he hugged me. I can't believe how stupid I am!!
Friend: lol Okay but I g2g... Call me later.
Girl: *happy*okay, bye, I'll be at home waiting for my baby to call me!
... Erica turns the T.V. on......

[Breaking news] "An airplane has crashed. Over 47 young boys died, we are still searching for survivors... This is a tragedy we will never forget, this plane was flight 1-80... it was on its way to an all boys boarding school..." the Reporter says.
[ She turns off the t.v. ... 3 days later, she kills herself, because of the fact that Ricardo was dead & she had nothing to live for... ]

... A day after that the phone rings. Nobody answers. It was Ricardo, he called to leave a message. "Its Ricardo, I guess you're not home so, I called to let you know that I'm alive, I missed my flight because I had to see you one last time. So, I hope your not worried. I am staying for good.